"MY VISION IS MY DRIVING FORCE:
I was born into the family of Eight Children, and I was the
last born but unfortunately I lost Seven of my Senior Siblings, making me an
only child.
I lost my father too, as a child, hence I was singlehandedly
trained by my mother.
My mother was a petty trader who hawks on different seasonal
fruits, ranging from oranges, avocado peers, banana, etc and when in out of
season, she trades on kola nuts.
While growing up, I watch my mother cries every night, her
pains was greater than I could imagine, I couldn't proffer solution, all I
could say then whenever she cries was "Aunty ndo kwanu" (Aunty sorry)
yes, I calls my mother Aunty till date.
The pains of losing her Seven Children one after the other
to the cold hands of death was excruciatingly great to her heart, to a point
she almost lost hope that she had me. At any little experience, she would wish
she wasn't living, she often makes reference to them.
I grew up as a very stubborn child, my stubbornness and
street fight always makes her remember her late children, she felt if they were
alive, my excesses would have be tamed by them. So I kept hearing her making
references to what the dead children would have been to her, her pains
birthed my VISION.
Gradually, I started feeling her pains too, even as a growing
teenage who doesn't know what future holds for her, I assured her and reassured
her each time she cries that "I WILL BE TO HER, WHAT THE SEVEN DEAD
CHILDREN WOULD HAVE BEEN TO HER".
My growing up was liken unto hell, I would hawk from 6am-9am
before going home to prepare for school, immediately after school, I would hit
the street again to hawk, that was our only source of livelihood, the proceeds
were used for our feeding and my school fees and books, during holidays, my
effort triples.
My Hawking experience became bitter when I was deflowered
by raped at 16, in 1996, I lost my virginity. Nothing could be done to the guy
who did it because his father was the chairman of one of the local government
in IMO state then, so my mother dare not raise such accusations against the
high and mighty.
My experience became more bitter when I was raped for the
second time by gangs of men in pretence of trying to buy my market, they
successful cornered me and over powered me at Ekeonunwa market Owerri. I hated hawking,
my passion for education grew, my dream to become someone influential and rich
grew, my vision for life became my burning desire.
I was determined by
quest to take care of my mother and make her proud, hence I wasn't ready to
allow any challenges deter it. I kept pushing on.
I had a vision to be great, and rich. I was passionate
about education, the fact that I didn't have who would see me through my
academics didn't make me loose hope.
After my secondary education in 1997, I journeyed to Lagos
in 1998, life was hell, at a point, I lived in an uncompleted building for over
a year without anyone knowing that someone lives in there, because I would
leave there as early as 4 am to go to where I worked as sales girl with a
salary of 3,000 and would come home very late, the supermarket I worked for,
used to close by 10pm, before I would get home, it would be 11pm.
When I had a change of work, I worked for Linar Pharmacy at
Salvation road Opebi, Ikeja. Seeing my boss children who were schooling
at University of Lagos, my enthusiasm for education and good life intensifies
the more. I reassured myself of my dreams of becoming a graduate.
Then I knew I
won't just sit down and dream, I need to take an action but the nature of the
job am doing and where I live was my stumbling block, but I took a decision to
enroll into computer school, hence I changed my job of a sales girl to a
cleaner, so that I could attend my computer school.
While in computer school at Allen avenue, Ikeja, I became
very close to one of my course mate "Late Akpa Elina Odachi" (may her
soul Rest in Peace) whose father was a Soldier and mother was a mobile Police
Officer, they were living in Sam Ethan Air force Base, Ikeja. She noticed that
I was living in an uncompleted building, and sought to know why, I explained,
she highlighted the dangers of me staying in there, should area boys became
aware.
So she suggested to take me to her parents in the barracks, that was how
my how my journey to the barracks started. Her parents accepted me, I became a
member of their lovely family. Her friends became my friends too, life became
sweet.
Life in the barracks was sweet till I started dating a
Soldier, pregnancy came, children came, no marriage, the sweetness of my soul
was taken away, I was abused both by the father of my kids and his relatives. I
was abandoned, in fact the soldier worked his posting out, that was how I
started Hawking again, joined cleaning work to it, to sustain myself and kids,
in 2005 I decided to become a soldier through recruit, I bought the Air Force
form, took my kids home to my mother.
It was in the course of medicaI
screening, they found out that I was pregnant again for my soldier boyfriend
again, hence I was dropped. All hope to good life were lost. My soldier friend
still insisted that there will be no marriage, even if I born king David, and
me, I love children, I saw them as brothers even though they were my
children.
My suffering was raised to powered to three, the
sisters of the father of my kids would mock me, each time they saw me Hawking
oranges in the street of Oshodi, Lagos or they saw me sweeping the blocks of
barracks, my sight was irrigating to them, they hated me with passion, they
concluded that I wanted to entangled their younger brother with pregnancy to
gain marriage, they were all graduates, I was just a waec holder, cum an orange
seller and a cleaner.
The disparities between us were much, the gap was too
much, they saw nothing good in me but the ability to get pregnant and have
children. Their constant mockery was a reminder to my ambitions.
In 2007, I doubled my cleaning work alongside my
Hawking business with the view of saving more money to go to school even if it
is on part time bases. I would sweep the barracks and wash the gutters from 4am
- 5:30 am, moved straight to oshodi market to buy my oranges before
6:30am, then prepare before 7:30 am to Pacific Access Limited, to clean their
office, by 9am I am through with all cleaning work, I would go home, rest
till 12pm, then wash my oranges, and hit the streets for my Hawking business.
Some days, I would make sales ranges from 3,000-5,000 per day, then get monthly
salary of 5,000 for cleaning the barracks, also 5,000 from cleaning
Pacific Access limited office at no 4 Anike Apena street, off Mobolaji Bank
Anthony Way, Ikeja, Lagos. Sometimes in a month I do have savings from
incomes ranges of 30,0000-40,000. My hope for school started rising.
On August 29, 2007, i came to clean office as usual, I found
a Wednesday Punch newspaper on my boss table, dated August 28, 2007, 1
flipped through the pages, I saw job advertisement for junior staff with
minimum of Diploma and must be computer literate. I checked out for its location
and organization, it was Abuja, the Nigerian Society of Engineers,
National Headquarters, National Engineering Center.
My instinct told me to
apply, I came home and told everyone, they all discouraged me,
except one officer, Warrant Officer Ogumuyiwa who encouraged me to try my
luck. I did, passed the aptitude test and interview and was given the job.
assumed office on 16th November, 2007, that was
beginning of my breakthrough. My dreams came true, I found favour among my
colleagues, Management Staff and the entire organization favored and
blessed me. In 2009, I gained admission to study Financial Accounting at
Fidie Polytechnic Gboko, Benue state, I got my National Diploma in 2011, in
2012, I gained admission to study B. Sc. in Economics at University of Ibadan,
Oyo state through Direct Entry. My dreams to become a graduate and take care of
my mother came true against all odds, against all my failures and challenges, I
conquered my fears and dismay.
I became a mother at age 22, a single mother of four
children at age 28, started higher institution at age 29, owned a car at age
31, became an Oracle Database Certified Expert at 32, a landlady in Abuja
at age 33, a graduate of Economics 2015/2016 at 36, established BDMG Resources
Limited on 5th April, 2017, before my 37th Birthday.
Currently
writing my ICAN and ACCA Professional Certification Exams. Above all, I am
still gainfully employed with the Nigerian Society of Engineers, "the
engine room of my breakthrough".
God is my all in all, His grace, favour and mercy was
sufficient unto me and my enabler, my mother is my Rock, my children are my
motivators, The Nigerian Society of Engineers (The best Organization) was my
strength, and MY VISION WAS MY DRIVE.
My only regret was becoming HIV positive, but I thank God
that all my children are NEGATIVE and their father is also NEGATIVE.
Surviving the reality of living with HIV became my greatest
challenge, my worst nightmare, the thought was killing, the pains was
excruciatingly great, better imagine than experiencing.
HIV is a management disease, and not a killer disease,
it is the fear of stigmatization and discrimination that leads to living in
self pity/denials which leads to AIDS, which is the killer. Fears,
Stigmatization, Discrimination and AIDS are undoubtedly and convincingly the
killer.
I conquered the FEARS (False Evidence Appears Real
Sufficiently). I became adherent to my ARV, today I am gladly living positively
healthy with my viral load undetectable and high CD4 count.
Join me to kill AIDS and reduce the spread of HIV to zero
level by stopping Stigmatization and Discrimination.
Ogechi Stella Njoku © September 2, 2017
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